27 October 2012

Oh man, I really love Halloween.

This year I once again took part in South African Horrorfest’s literary event, Bloody Parchment, that took place at the Book Lounge on 26 October 2012.

The line-up included awesome local writers Lauren Beukes, Cat Hellisen, Nerine Dorman, Sam Wilson and others like Sarah Lotz and Louis Greenberg that couldn’t be there, but sent along their stories.

The event ran a little different this year. Instead of reading short horror fiction or excerpts from longer works, the writers were tasked with coming up with drabbles of no more than 100 words. (It’s a lot more difficult than it sounds!)

The scary little stories covered everything from phobias and spiders to zombies and mysterious boxes. There was also the usual best dressed competition and plenty of Halloween themed snacks.

Thanks to the Book Lounge, Horrorfest and Nerine Dorman for another great event.

Here’s my drabble (which was inspired by Martha Stewart).

The cannibal connoisseur

How to cook the perfect human being.
Step one. Trap it. Bear traps are great, just be careful to remove all rust chips from the wound. Never use a shotgun unless you enjoy picking buckshot out your teeth.
Step two. Remove skin and tie the arms and legs with string for first-class presentation.
Step three. Season with salt, pepper and fresh garlic for sweetness. Drizzle liberally with olive oil.
Step four. Roast at 200 degrees for two hours. Keep basting to ensure the meat cooks evenly.
There’s no need to bother with vegetables. Simply garnish with parsley and serve.